My name is Sharon 34 years old. I was raised with a brother and a sister.
In April 1983 my adoption parents went to Sri Lanka to adopt me. The name of the agency they used is Flash. This agency doesn’t exists anymore. My parents saw a baby which they thought they would get. But the biological mother changed her mind. After that they saw a few other baby’s but every time something went wrong. De lawyer promised my parents that they wouldn’t leave Sri Lanka without a child. The Lawyer would do everything. After a few days they were offered me. My parent instantly know that I needed help, my condition was very bad I was underfed, ill and very skinny. On the day of the official adoption pronunciation in Sri Lanka, my parents and my biological mother where traveling together to the court. My adoption father wanted to make a picture but that wasn’t possible it was actually forbidden. My parents did everything they could to make a picture but it was very clear that this was not going to happen. My parents wanted to give my biological mother some money, but this was also not possible. I cried the whole time in the court. I have always known that I was adopted my parents were very clear and open about it. Around my puberty I noticed that I had some questions about my adoption. The occasion was the adoption of my little sister (not biological). My sister had some pictures of her mother, so I started to wonder…did I look like my biological mother? Do I have any siblings? Why did my mother gave me away? As I grow up I noticed that it was very hard to get any answers. My desire to know who I was and who my biological family was became bigger and bigger. From my 18th I travelled a few times to Sri Lanka to search. Every time I got disappointed. There seemed nothing to found. How was this possible? I had some adopted friends who were also looking for their biological family, they found them. But I never did. It made me so sad and I felt so lonely. What the hell happened in Sri Lanka? The last time that I visit Sri Lanka was in 2008, their I found out that all my papers were false. There was nowhere to search. At that moment I got the feeling that my biological mother didn’t gave me up voluntarily. I wanted to go back to the Netherlands, I was so disappointed. Because I found out that all my papers where false I stopped looking after 2008. In 2015 someone told me that Flash know what kind of things happened in Sri Lanka with the adoptions they arranged. I was so angry and sad about this. I started to think again about my adoption. I thought to myself; maybe I can start looking in the Netherlands. But I didn’t know where to start. In the past I tried to contact Flash but they made very clear to me that there weren’t any papers of me. In the beginning of May this year(2016) I came in contact with someone who wanted to connect other adoptees from Sri Lanka. He made a group app in whatsapp with all these people. In the beginning I was sceptical, but after a while I thought that I could try looking for my roots. Maybe I found someone who has the same story, so we can help each other. In the app group I started chatting with a girl Sita. Very soon we made a very special connection. This never happened to me before and I know a lot of adoptees from Sri Lanka. After a while I start noticing that we have a lot of similarities. The connection is very strong and we chat a lot. Eventually we make an appointment on 18 July 2016 at the airport Schiphol in front of the Body Shop. I feel the nerves. Because we had a lot contact and also talked about the possibilities that we maybe could be family. It was more a joke than serious…but you never know! At the date I noticed a lot of similarities. It was so strange, she reacted the same as I do. It was like looking in the mirror. After this date… I couldn’t stop thinking about Sita. I never met someone like this. Never had the feeling that someone could be my biological family. But Sita gave me that feeling that she maybe could be my family. It was a very difficult situation for me, because I was looking for my biological family for quite some time and never received any answers. After 18 July Sita and I stayed in contact, every day, we used skype, whatsapp and called a lot. The feeling that she could be family became stronger and stronger. How bizar could it be? Because both Sita and I kind a lost it, Sita decided to contact the lawyer in Sri Lanka. The Lawyer was at that time also working for FLASH. So we thought she maybe had some answers. On 15 September 2016 Sita called me, I remember that she was saying : Sharon maybe you shouldn’t stand but take a seat. I was very calm and felt that at that very special moment she was going to give me all the puzzle pieces. We are full sisters, we share the same mother and the same father. I felt something in my head was exploding, after all these years finally answers. I wanted to see my sister. So I walked to the train station and took the train to my sister’s home. We gave each other a big hug. What am I thankful that we found each other. We did a DNA test, but both new already the answer. We are sisters, and the most special thing is that we felt it from the start! My story is not a Disney story. It is not the ability of my mother that she gave me up for adoption. She was abused by our father because he was always drunk. When I was born he panicked and took me from my mother with brute violence. My father placed me with someone for 8 months , that person probably didn’t took care of me. Every piece of paper that I had was false so I hadn’t any opportunity to found my mother our sister. I feel very upset that my mother doesn’t know what happened to me and about the way our father abused her. I am certain that my adoption parent did not know anything about what happened. For my adoption parents it was also hard to see the pain and not knowing what happened. My life is a mystery. Because of some old friend I nog have a sister. I am so happy and gratefully, we have a very special connection. I feel when she feels sad or upset. And she feels the same way to. The loneliness is away. I found piece. Now my biggest wish is to meet our mother…
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AuteurMy name is Sharon, adopted from Sri Lanka. After a search from years in Sri Lanka I found by accident my biological sister in the Netherlands only 80 km away from me. ArchievenCategorieën |